


Without Regret

by clonewarsandchill



Category: Star Wars (Marvel Comics), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Background Character Death, F/M, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:30:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11660724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clonewarsandchill/pseuds/clonewarsandchill
Summary: Grey decides it was all worth it.





	Without Regret

Grey watches her float in the tank like some pickled creature on display and thinks, not for the first time, that he’s unfit for command. Because even though the Jedi and the droids can’t – or maybe  _won’t_  – tell him anything more concrete than  _her vitals are steady_ , he knows he’d trade his whole battalion all over again for the occasional exhale of bubbles that mean she’s  _breathing_. Brothers, batchers, a few he’d shared a bed or a shower stall with over the years – he’d watch them all fall a dozen times over just for the flimsy hope that she’ll wake up.

He knows only Styles – drunk and broken-knuckled in some slummy bar on the lower levels – shares his sentiment. He knows if she was conscious enough to skim his surface thoughts, conscious enough to meet his eyes as he stares at her through the glass like she’s citadel beacon, she’d look at him with deep sadness and aching disappointment, and would remind him that no single life is worth so many. That personal attachments like his and the dark, desperate selfishness that comes with it are why wars are started in the first place, why there’s so much  _anger_  and  _hate_  and  _suffering_  in the galaxy. She would tell him that it would be an honor to die to save their lives instead.

He guesses that’s why she’s the  _Jedi_ , and he’s the  _clone_.

But the truth is, no lives were traded for hers, not really. The wholesale slaughter of his brothers was the seppies’ doing, just like all the losses before them; they’d all been as good as dead as soon as General Grevious had emerged, coughing, from the endless sea of droids. They’d already been cornered and outgunned even without adding four stolen lightsabers to the mix.

Grey exhales slowly, and his breath fogs on the front of the tank, shrouding Depa’s beautiful face from easy view. She’s breath-taking in slumber, brown skin gleaming beneath blue-hued lights, her braids undone to leave her dark hair to drape in waves around her shoulders. He remembers watching her glide ethereally between stances while she meditated by the big bay window in their ship, illuminated by moonlight the same shade as the bacta tank’s glow.

His body burns with rage that has nowhere to go but his guts, acid roiling in his stomach like the fire that had razed his brothers’ piled bodies from the earth.  She was –  _is_  – worth all the anger and suffering the galaxy can muster. That  _he_  can muster.

He hates himself. But he loves her more.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [on Tumblr](https://clonewarsandchill.tumblr.com/post/163420227976/without-regret-greydepa). 
> 
> COME SHARE YOUR DEPA/GREY/STYLES FEELS WITH ME.


End file.
